Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Oh how the calls have flooded in! Boy what a rain storm my last blog has caused! (I never knew there were so many who read this stupid thing). I need you all to know that I am totally and completely aware that I am so loved. I want to make clear that my last blog entry was about loss, change, irrational fears, and my own inabilities to completely recover from something that is impossible to completely recover from. Maybe I should not have written it as I see that it could be misconstrued or possibly conveyed that I do not feel as cherished as I know I am, but then I am glad I did because it was about as honest as I could possibly be about something that will continue to affect me forever. Change is inevitable as we all know, and with it growth. Growing pains are necessary and it is those that I was referring to. I love you all so much! From now on, I think I am gonna make this a yearly tradition; About 3 days before my Birthday I am going to put all of you on the biggest guilt trip ever and receive days of attention in reward! Totally kidding! I am so sorry if I made anyone feel bad or unappreciated...Especially my family.
I had a wonderful Birthday. I was not home to recieve many of your calls, but it was a very fun day. If you can imagine, I even forced Dad to go to Rainbow Gardens for a Mormon muffin and shopping. And he actually survived. I felt horrible about it but it was soooo funny, he only used 2 inappropriate words throughout the whole thing. He looked so confused. Like I had taken a country boy and set it down in the middle of New York or something. He said, (and he says this every year just to remind me) "Texie, did you know they did a study and a man shopping during the holidays encounters as much stress as a fighter pilot during war?" I said "Yes, I think I did hear that somewhere Dad". What a tough ol' cowboy enduring that much stress only 9 months after a heart attack. What a man wont do for his daughter.
I also had a wonderful get together with my friends. We had a Rock Band night and we were legendary.
Posted by Texie at 8:28 AM
Friday, December 19, 2008
So as I said in my last entry, every year at this time I get a bug for appreciation. I become overwhelmed by all the blessings that I have. Mostly for my friends. And then this Wednesday a little pressure was set in motion by the need to figure out what I was going to do on my Birthday. It set the wheels turning for what would inevitably be a ‘crash’. 11 years ago I saw my Mom for the last time on my Birthday. I was sitting at my Grandmothers kitchen table just after a yummy Birthday dinner. My Mom was tired. She stumbled slowly grabbing on to everything that could balance her and stood at the top of the stairs. “Headed to bed already?” I said. She replied “Yes, happy Birthday baby girl.” And she looked straight in my eyes for just a moment. And then she disappeared down the stairs. And that was it. That was the last time I saw her.
My Birthday has changed significantly from what it was during those days. No more family outings. No more Grandparents. No more tradition. I have had to say goodbye to a lot of what I always considered to be ‘My Birthday’. With that, new tradition has begun and I guess that’s where the blessings and thankfulness come in. If I didn’t have my friends and my Dad I would very possibly be alone on my birthday. It scares me for the day that my Dad is no longer here and my friends are busy and distracted by their lives. Will there ever be a day when my life is not celebrated at all?
It has bothered me. Especially this year for some reason. So thankful that I am loved, and scared to death that one day I won’t be. I need to let go of the fact she won’t be here for my Birthday. Am I crazy that it has been over a decade and this is obviously still eating at me with such intensity? If I am crazy then what steps do I take to get over it? I can’t just sit back and let it continue to hurt me. If I do then I will never have a good Birthday ever again. That is seriously ridiculous. I don’t know what to do. Of course my girls will throw me a fun and comforting bash on Saturday. And I know deep down that the day will never come that they will let me and my life go uncelebrated. The day will never come when they are too distracted by their own lives, but the fear still remains. I am tired of going through this death year after year and Id like there to be a day that I can let go and just love being exactly where I am at in my life instead of fearing where I will one day be. Maybe that doesn’t make any sense. I feel a little silly writing about it anyway. I mean it is just a Birthday. It’s just like any other day. One thing is for sure, healed or not healed, I will always make too big of a deal out of things. It’s just my way.
Posted by Texie at 10:46 AM
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Thirty Two in 5 days and counting. This number is alright by me. Not young enough to be fooled by just anyone, not old enough to….well, feel old. Every year when my Birthday rears its ugly head I am suddenly overcome with an overwhelming sense of thankfulness. I become sentimental “if you know what I mean” and everything seems to take on a new meaning in my life, a real meaning, meanings that are not filtered or lied to or challenged by the mundane or anxiousness that sometimes surrounds me. I am as always forever thankful and humbled by God for his gratuity, and aware that I do have the very best of what he can offer. Certainly with Friendship, the true experience of unconditional love from my Dad, and the loyal (and certainly undeserved) trust of a dog. These things are my most prized possessions. But when my Birthday comes round it is also the things I forget to be grateful for that seem to emanate from every facet and corner of my life. Like a glistening crystal with so many colorful sides that I can’t keep track of where all the colors are sprouting from. My eyes that see every detail in a snow flake. My ears (if I would just open them a little more instead of being so closed up), my hope, my dreams, my wishes, my accomplishments, my LIFE. Things that I can’t pick up, things that I will always have. These things that I tend to overlook. What grace have I? Not deserving of such treasure! I certainly did not earn these things. How many people drift through life without truly knowing what real friendship is? I know. Not because I have shown it, but because it has been shown to me. My girlfriends are the emeralds and diamonds and safire’s in my life. They add the color Pink to my world (even though I don’t think that one of them appreciates the color as they should).
My brothers. They may be half crazy but their mine. Lost in turbulence, and sad to their souls, I have to appreciate every single second because I don’t know which moment will be the last one. Their sorrow will continue, I can’t make it go away for them, and so with it my defenses and guard always up, but that doesn’t diminish the blessing that they are or the lessons that they have taught me.
All these blessings break into sections and divide and fill my life with warmth. I wish I was a better person, more deserving. But then that’s another miracle I owe a curtsy too.
Posted by Texie at 3:35 PM
Some points and questions
1. Wouldn’t a Stiletto do more damage?
2. Do you think they returned his shoes to him after it was over, or…do you think they kept them as evidence? If they kept the shoes do you think they will be in a museum one day?
3. Okay where the hell were the lethally top trained security people that are supposed to be there before the bullet strikes? I mean, aren’t they supposed to catch the bullet in the chest and die for their president, go out in a flame of glory to always be remembered and respected? If they won’t even get up for a shoe...what chance do our presidents have?
4. I am actually impressed by his swift athletic ducks. You can’t learn that in college people, you have to be born with it.
5. How embarrassing. He should really consider not traveling for the remainder of his time in office. Wouldn’t a phone call suffice?
Posted by Texie at 1:12 PM
Friday, December 12, 2008
Posted by Texie at 10:17 AM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
The talk in the office this morning is of the super fun office Christmas party that took place last Saturday. Apparently there were prizes and gifts, drawings and karaoke. I didn’t go.
"Why?" You may be asking. Well it wasn’t because of my normal social anxieties that I did not show up to the yearly office festivities. My reason is actually kind of lame. I didn’t go because everyone at the party brings their spouses and significant others. As a single (the only single) what was I to do? Sit there and try to talk chit chat with co-workers as their spouses attempted to pull them away to hit the dance floor? No thanks. I mean the whole event is centered on doing things with your extra special person. Well what if my extra special person.... is me?
I find it interesting that the suicide rate increases so much at this time of year. I mean really, there are many things far worse than being alone. Or maybe it’s because I am not actually a lonely person that I am spared from leaping off the ledge of a tall building.
With that being said, there really is no truer time than Christmas to remind you that you are Bridget Jones, without the dates, office crush, or drunken single friends. On the upside being single at the Holidays means:
1. No matter what, I will be doing my things with my family and my friends no matter what. No schedule conflicts to deal with what-so-ever!
2. I don’t have to spend additional money on something extra special for my extra special person. Important during this economically challenged time!
3. I don’t have to fret about finding something fantastic to wear to his family outings. My family and friends don’t really care what I wear as long as I show up right?
4. I can spend my extra time with my adorable dog. (That may sound pathetic.. and it is, but I still enjoy it a lot.)
Okay so that is all I can think of, certainly there are additional reasons to be excited about my status during this time of year? Any suggestions? The internet can be more lonely a world than the real one because people don’t feel obligated to answer you. Even if they feel inclined to answer I don’t think they usually do. My point is, if you are alone at this time of year, then it is your own dang fault. Now don’t start walking over to the ledge. All is not lost, I mean do you even have a dog?
Posted by Texie at 9:55 AM
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I believe long after we are gone, the legend of the great Leonard Cohen will go on. He is a beautiful poet first and foremost and was finally inducted into the Rock -n- Roll Hall of Fame last summer. To make mention of what his poetry has done for me in my life, well...only someone like Leonard Cohen could find the words. For those that have never been touched by the dewy thoughts of Mr. Cohen just look away, for those that have...this was his induction. (Note to Beth: dont watch the video, just listen)
Posted by Texie at 10:18 AM
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Hey friends, read my cousins entry below and then if you want in on the action...just follow her direction! Wahoo soooo fun! - Tex
"Hey there folks! Just wanted to plug a new blog that a friend of mine is just starting! It's called Give Away Today, and by just visiting and leaving a comment, you'll be in the running to win one of their fabulous daily prizes! We all know that winning great stuff is super fun, so visit the site!
Below are details directly from the blog on how to enter and win!
This Friday's giveaway...$100 gift card from Target. Normally, we will giveaway one item per day Monday through Friday. However, since this is our first giveaway, the Target gift card will be our featured item until Friday morning, December 5th. On the morning of December 5th we will choose the winner using http://www.random.org/. We will announce the winner and then he or she will have 24 hours to email firstname.lastname@example.org. If we do not hear from the winner within 24 hours, we will choose a new winner.
Here's how you can enter to win:
For one entry: Leave a comment with your first and last name.
For one more entry: Put our button on your blog. Leave a comment that says "Button: Your first and last name"
For one more entry: Do a post about our blog on your blog. Leave a comment that says "Post: Your first and last name"And finally, if you want a ton of entries, email your family and friends about http://www.giveawaytoday.blogspot.com/.
Tell them to come here and put your name in a comment as the one who referred them. Whoever's name is in the comment will win the prize. Therefore, the more people your refer, the higher your chances are of winning.Recap: The maximum number of comments that you can leave is four. One with your name; one for a button, one for a post, and one that gives the name of the person who referred you.Good Luck!"
Posted by Texie at 3:36 PM
Monday, December 1, 2008
This year was different. This year my Aunt Loni did not have her big family dinner as she has in years past. And so what were we to do? It was obvious. I was going to have to cook my first Thanksgiving dinner. The thought made me nervous. How does one person plan it so that all this food can end up on the table all at the same time and remain hot enough to be edible?
Well, somehow I did it. And it was soooo fun. I absolutely had the time of my life. I have decided that the reason why I have disliked this holiday all these years is because I have never really been involved. I have always let everyone else in the family cook the meal and then I just showed up. As rude as that is… It’s also been a major bummer and waste of my talents as I am quite good in the kitchen.
Not only did I make a feast for them…but check out my festiveness! I mean holy cow what a totally cute table for only planning this shindig with one days notice. I simply gathered pinecones and acorns from the backyard and carved “Give Thanks” into two oranges, and tossed some candles in there. I also made some Bee Butter and some Maple Butter for our rolls. So good.
I am not going to claim that my Jell-O...thingy here turned out okay. Things went wayward. Unplanned things. But it still tasted wonderful.
Posted by Texie at 8:48 AM
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I am currently away on a business trip and wishing I were home. Being the pessimist that I am removes most likeliness that I will enjoy myself on this adventure. It just so happens that some friends of mine were here from out of town and so we met up last night for dinner and fun. Only...I wasn’t much fun. Planned to stay up late and play but actually came back to my room at 8:00pm. I guess I have lost all ability to party as my age creeps up the scale of life. Not to mention it was an incredibly stressful day for an already stressed out girl and by the time the sun set, my whole body was looking for sleep.
That being said, it is now 5:52 am. And here I sit..working. The thing about work when your not at work, is that even though your working, it doesn’t feel like your working. So I am working in my hotel room and gotta say....its just not bad. I seem happier to answer emails and get things done. I think I am on to something here. If establishments want their employees to really buckle down...they should send them on vacation with a deadline. It would work. Believe me. Doesn’t sound like it, but it would.
Posted by Texie at 6:48 AM
Monday, November 10, 2008
Me: I just don’t know what is wrong with it, I have had troubles burning disks and withdrawing information from disks on this drive.
IT: Do you think the disk drive has gone bad?
Me: It’s a new computer.
IT: (Puts hands over entire face and rubs it as he sighs in frustration, like how a very angry and annoyed parent sighs. As if he is holding it inside and wants to explode angry rantings of inferiority on me but instead says in a very pissed slow and condescending voice:) That’s not what I asked you is it? I asked you “Do you think the disk drive is bad”.
Me: And I told you, No the computer is bran new, intending to imply the DRIVE is new too.
IT: (Rubs face again and sighs again) But do you think the drive is bad?
Me: I guess it is possible, I have not used it but a handful of times since I got the computer, but never mind, I would rather die in a firey car crash than accept your help now so please leave.
IT: (Walks to the back of my computer and starts pushing on things).
Me: No…really. My pride will not allow me to accept your help now. I am sorry, but I am literally incapable of accepting any help, favors or even exchange in conversation from you at this point.
Moral of the story: still cant pull informtion off the drive. bummer.
Posted by Texie at 1:06 PM
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
So I officially had the funnest Halloween Ever this year. You know how I have been addicted to watching ‘Ghost Hunters’ all season right? Well, on Halloween they did a Live 7 hour show where they investigated Fort Delaware. They already did an investigation of this Civil War confederate prison camp earlier this year and got some pretty spooky evidence. Watch This:
So they decided to investigate it again for their big Halloween special. SOOO SUPER SPECTACULAR. Never had so much fun spending time by myself on a Holiday. The two spooookiest parts are below. The first one is where they hear a voice telling them they need to leave (listen for it, you can’t miss it)
The second one is where Grant is walking down the corridor and something grabs his coat like three times!
Now I know many of you will believe these are staged, and maybe they are, but I don’t think so. If they were staged it would completely ruin their creditability. Even if it was faked, it sure supplied me with an entire evening of excitement.
Now if you are as interested as I am, in all the results, they will be revealed Wednesday night on the SCIFI channel!
Posted by Texie at 9:20 AM
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Where we eat till we're sick and play Xbox for 3 or 4 hours. (Don't worry its only at the expense of the tax payers. Hah just kidding, kinda.) So for those of you that hear me talking about these people and have no faces to put to the names...here you go:
Boss Tom (black wig), Amber and Rich.
Tami, very sweet.
Posted by Texie at 3:03 PM
Monday, October 27, 2008
I wish you could read. If you could I would tell you that you are (with few exceptions) the bestest thing in my life. I love you so much. I love waking up in the morning and looking at you next to me. You try to be ‘human’ by lying in bed with covers over every part of you accept your head. I bet we are adorable when we sleep, both our heads popped out of the top of the sheet. You and I love to snuggle close at night because the other is so warm. Sometimes you hear the alarm and you jump right up and anxiously wait for me to rise. Other times, (when we didn’t get to sleep early enough the night before) you just stay in bed and sleep, undisturbed by my motion or sounds.
You are defiantly a morning girl, it’s your favorite thing, and when you have had enough sleep you pounce on the couch and fight with or play with your toys while I drink my coffee.
Another thing I super love about you is how cute you look when you do a summersault and land your butt up against me. Then you struggle to breathe, while you bite and try to get me in your upside down state. It’s so funny…..probably my favorite thing.
When I leave for work you get very happy because you know that when I leave you get a treat. You jump up on the bed (very expectantly) and If body language made sounds I know exactly what it would say. “Don’t forget, don’t forget, I get a treat!”
You are the sweetest Bubbie there ever was. You love meeting new people, especially kids. One of your favorite things to do is pull Shaylee on her roller-skates. (I don’t know what they are called half shoe/half skate). You two will go back and forth for hours, it’s the funniest thing to watch. I don’t know how in the world your 16 pound body can pull her 60 pound body but you do it!
Lately you have decided that indeed, you do not like cats. Unfortunately we have two neighbor cats that are constantly harassing you. They keep coming into your yard like fearless jungle lions and you keep running out there to let them know they are unwelcome. Sometimes they listen to you and go away. Most of the time they chase you back to the house. This really annoys you and even further instills the urgency of claiming the yard as your own. I wish I could communicate to you that they are just bullies and never mind them. I wish I could explain that the yard really is yours and you don’t have to worry. But you do worry and there’s just no convincing you otherwise.
Your very favorite thing to do with me is: have dinner. I will make dinner and then watch TV and you snuggle right up on my lap all excited because you just know it’s gonna be good. I usually give you every other bite. There is not much good that comes out of this process we have developed. I’ve found that I serve myself more food than I normally would to make up for what I give you , so It’s not like I am gonna eat less by sharing with you. Many people have sworn to me that it is the unhealthiest thing I can do for you. And the worst part is facing the embarrassment when friends and family realize that you know how to eat off of a fork and spoon. How can I justify the grossness of sharing my fork with my dog???? I can’t. I know its gross to them but to me I don’t even care. I am just giving a bite to my best girlfriend.
Now your breed is known for having a little bit of a gas problem. I’m just saying. And when you toot you get so embarrassed. You will look around to make sure that no one realized what you just did. When Bridger is around he will call out “Wooooweeeee Bubbie!” and you get very embarrassed. You jump up on him and try to bite his face because you know that is the only way to make him shut up!
You love drive thru windows. When we go to the gas station you love to get right up to the window so that the person helping me will dote on you. (And they usually do, who could resist your adorableness?) In fact it’s kind of funny when we come across a non-dog person and they won’t give you your cuteness credit. One time we went for a walk and passed by these two ladies that couldn’t give a hoot about your existence. You couldn’t believe it. You stopped right in your tracks and stared back at them in disbelief. It was pretty funny. You couldn’t fathom the possibility of the world not revolving around you.
Annie. I have quit smoking for you. Not 100% you, but I know how much you hate it. You really really hate it. And it’s not based on a prejudice or hatred, its 100% because you know that its poison. Something in your instincts says “This is bad; you better get away from it”. And that means that you have to get away from me, and I really hate that.
I can’t believe I am writing a letter to my dog. But its only 1:37 in the afternoon and I can’t see you for another 3 and ½ hours and I was missing you. When I get home tonight, after I give you your hug, and after we go outside to potty and chase cats, I’m gonna do something really special for you. I don’t know what just yet….but something’s gonna happen. Something big. Maybe I will even consider giving you a Dingo…your favorite thing.
Posted by Texie at 4:52 PM
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Beth just called and they are on their way to the Hospital! I am so excited that I cant work! And, I cant quit smiling. So So much fun. Bran new baby boy on his way!
Posted by Texie at 1:49 PM
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
I guess like all Americans (or should I say Humans world wide) this mornings news sorta scares the hell out of me. I wonder if this means I should give up on the house purchasing plans for a few years. I wonder if I will have to give up on those plans. What bank in their right mind is gonna loan money to anyone? They are going to be so gun shy now.
Posted by Texie at 1:34 PM
Monday, September 22, 2008
Musical Road Hits Sour Notes With NeighborsLocal officials say it was a mistake to allow a television commercial company to grind grooves into a stretch of desert roadway near Lancaster to enable car tires to play a song -- "The William Tell Overture" -- as people drive over it.The sounds are disturbing people in a nearby subdivision, the Daily News reports. The City of Lancaster plans to pave over the musical grooves Tuesday.Persons driving the posted 55 miles an hour west on Avenue K, in the high desert about five miles west of the Antelope Valley (14) Freeway, hear about 38 musical notes of the well-known theme, also known as the overture to "The Lone Ranger."American Honda has paid for the promotion as part of a television ad campaign set to air this fall, but amateurs have peppered YouTube with homemade renditions of their own vehicles rolling over the grooves.The road is tuned to a car just exactly the length, and equipped with tires the same size, as a Honda Civic, a spokesman for Honda said. But other vehicles are also successful in playing the notes, if a little off-key.That noise is not exactly music to the ears of persons living in a nearby subdivision, who are telling the Daily News that the notes blend into a cacophony that keeps them awake at night."When you hear it late at night, it will wake you up from a sound sleep," said music critic Brian Robin, who lives a half mile away from the project. "It's awakened my wife three or four times a night," he told the newspaper.But people from elsewhere are delighted. "I think it's kind of cool," said Peggy Hager of Llano. "When you are driving out on Avenue K, you're going out to the middle of nowhere. It's a nice surprise to come across this thing."Avenue K got its groove on Sept. 5, and the sour notes from neighbors soon reached a crescendo at City Hall, said Pauline East, the Antelope Valley Film Office liaison officer. The street was volunteered to help attract filmmakers and their dollars to the High Desert, she said."Was it historic? Yes," she told the Daily News."Maybe the wrong location? Obviously. We thought it was far enough away."
Posted by Texie at 11:53 AM
Thursday, September 11, 2008
It wasn’t long ago that BBF Nichole told me the sorrowful story of the year her husband gave her a ‘car buffer’ for Christmas. I hung my head (as does the other BFF’s when we hear reminders of this tragedy) as we know that “We”, the women of the world, had apparently ‘lost one’. For many a decade now our kind has been standing up against this form of cruelty with a sort of outright naked aggression, but sometimes, our voices fail us and one gets by.
This morning another BBF, let us call her Ricki, announced that her husband, excited and unable to contain himself, gave her her Birthday gift last night (4 days early mind you). It was (another) scope for her rifle. This avid hunter of a man really thought hard and apparently this is what he came up with. And so my fellow sisters, let us all take a moment of silence to remember our still suffering friend Ricki, and hope that (even though she is still in a little denial about the disappointment) she will once again find her voice and rise above it all to declare once again and for all woman kind “WE WANT SPA CERTIFICATES, BALLET TICKETS, DINNER, a fun ADVENTURE or perhaps for the married ones even a little ROMANCE”.
Despite this unfortunate mishap Richelle is in a wonderful mood and does not feel the sting to its full extent, and for this I am thankful.
I cannot end without mentioning that if your husband does go wayward with a gift, all is not lost. Remember Nichole? Her story is a happy one and with Nicholes determination and hard work her husband is in full remission.
Posted by Texie at 8:51 AM
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
So I wanted to create a blog to post my thoughts. A place where my peeps could reply (perhaps without fear of my response). But to title a blog is no easy thing. To take everything that I am and wrap it up into one sentence, well…I couldn’t do that in an entire book. So there I was faced with a conundrum. Nutty Bubbles and Tadpoles arrived from a strange train of thoughts. And no it’s not sexual. I do like nuts. Stop itttt. I mean I like pistachios and almonds and peanuts (of which my mother told the public when I was growing up, that I was terribly allergic to, so she could get attention, and then no one babysitting me would ever let me have a PB&J along with the other kids….totally cruel). And while I was at it, I started thinking of childhood and that’s where the bubbles and tadpoles came from. I never once challenged the idea that my site sounded a bit like a porn ring. It was following the discussion of my blog with many others that I realized; this may not be such a good name for a blog. Especially after my Aunt Jill pulled a kind of grossed out face and said slowly and almost in a whisper…”huh…..cute”. That’s when I realized “they think I am running a full blown porn site in which I must be the star”. Now I am hot, but please…morals people. Besides although I am star quality, I am not SUPER star quality. If I were a movie star, I wouldn’t be a Bette Midler or Julia Roberts, no, I would be the kind of star that you really like, but soon forget about after you have seen the movie, like Diane Keaton or that one lady from Grease (No, Not Olivia). So anyways, I need a new name. One that describes me and doesn’t lead people to believe that I am running online colorful activities. So you guys know me, if you were to name a blog given what you know about me, what would you call it?
Posted by Texie at 12:46 PM
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Watch this hilarious interview. The legend goes like this: On August 19th 2007 an oil tanker off the coast of Australia split in two, dumping 20,000 tons of crude oil into the ocean. -Thanks for this Audrey - made my day!
Posted by Texie at 8:59 AM
Friday, August 29, 2008
Michael Jackson turned 50 years old today. Wow and I suddenly feel extreamly old. He was 20 just yesterday, wearing that totally awasome red leather jacket while doing Thriller in my living room. At least he still resides inside the mind of a 10 year old boy right?
Posted by Texie at 8:39 AM
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The last Birthday my Mom celebrated was 12 years ago. We went to Vae View Park and had lunch under the trees. Everything was very calm that day (a rare occurence in her life). We played Frisbee, and laughed, and lived in the moment. She said “this is the best Birthday I have ever had”. I wonder what made that Birthday so great for her. Was it because it would be her last and she knew it? Anyways to whatever sphere she now inhabits….Happy Birthday Mom.
Posted by Texie at 2:05 PM
Posted by Texie at 1:06 PM
Monday, August 25, 2008
The grapevine reported quite an occurrence from this weekend. To start I should note that when I am shopping with Bridger he will point out, upon store entry, those motorized chair scooter thingys and remark with longing his desire to ride in one. He does this often. I hear it all the time. He doesn’t want to walk around the store. Yes the epitome of lazy certainly comes to mind. He wants so much to jump inside one of those little motorized carts and Getty Up around the store. I always smile and keep walking when he begins these fantasies of running Willy Nilly around Wal-Mart, this is my way of letting him know that it’s just too ridiculous to even consider. Because it is, right?
So last week at work, Bridger hurt his back. He has been in a lot of pain and hasn’t been able to walk very well. So having to fill a prescription at Albertsons he walks….no…limps into the store when upon entry he sees it! The motorized cart! This was his chance. His one shining moment in time when he could get in the motha and drive to his heart’s content! He could do this…and keep his pride because after all he was actually hurt.
Now, when you do things like this (and to a much lesser extent, we all have) you know you are going to look like a complete idiot but what the hell, nobody knows you right? But come on, not when you were born and raised in Clinton Utah and your walking into the local Albertsons. EVERY ONE IS THERE. I run into someone I know every time I go there. So what must have run through his mind when he came upon my good friend Erin? Well, all of us normal people would be explaining, rationalizing, making sure the person didn’t walk away thinking were completely nuts right? Not Bridger. No explanation. Nothing. In fact it was reported back that there was a very strange “hey” (insert shyness) and then he kept on his way. Bridger, sometimes you really are the freakin greatest thing in my life. You do the things that I would never dare or have too much pride to do, and you remind me that it really doesn’t matter in the end. Sometimes, (given the circumstances) you are the only one I know who truly knows how to Keep It Simple.
Posted by Texie at 2:46 PM
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I dont care what all of you say.... I love him, and I always will.
Posted by Texie at 2:32 PM
Things happen when you’re exhausted. Exhaustion in and of itself can make for a pretty hard day what with the heavier than normal feeling in your legs and arms, the rolling of the eyes as you desperately try to focus on writing a manual that thousands of pilots and their supporters will read and take direction from (probably not important right?). The frequent head nod that comes when you unknowingly close your eyes and your body says “Now?? Can we sleep now?” But then there are the things that you don’t count on, weekly meetings that insist your attention be at perfection, the stupid decisions you make because your head is not clear enough to think it out, like pulling out in front of someone (and narrowly escaping with your life, and the life of your car) while you attempt to pull into work. The clumsiness that occurs when you pass by a hot cup of coffee that is sitting on your desk, bump it, and realize after it lands on your leg for 3 or 4 seconds that you might better move your butt! Or when you move your arm to shake a strangers hand who has specifically came into the office to introduce themselves to you (as you have spoken on the phone so many times) and your cuff hits a pair of scissors that fly off the desk and land in your foot! Yes I said IN the foot. Ouch.
All in all, I believe this is turning out to be a bit of a dangerous day for me. Beth once said as we were driving through the busy streets of Salt Lake “I am having a bad driving day” and this stuck with me. Because you don’t know what day is going to come along and remove your skills and abilities, making you feel a bit lacking in mental capacity. You can’t prepare for days like today.
You may be asking yourselves “Why does she feel so tired today?” Well, I will tell you. The answer is Annie. Isn’t it always! I gave Annie her first dose of medicine that is supposed to help her with her allergies, and that was a big mistake! She was up all night! Now, I don’t have a yard that I can throw her out in, nor would I….well probably not. No I attempted to lay in bed while she jumped, pounced, and tossed balls and any other toy she could find, at my face. I put her in the living room and went back to bed, closing my door, and this was apparently taken as the ultimate rejection so she sat at the door and cried and moaned and threw a fit that would shock the devil himself for about an hour. Bridger didn’t budge. He slept all night long, happy as could be. No, I don’t know how.
Posted by Texie at 12:01 PM
Monday, August 11, 2008
Last Thursday I took Annie to the Vet for a skin biopsy. So sad, the tootle bug. She is doing fine and is now stitched up and happy again. The biopsy was conducted so that we could get verification of what we were really hoping was not a truth. That truth being that the reason Annie is losing her hair and having red itchy dots on her skin is related to an immune deficiency problem. This would be caused by my giving her so many antibiotics when she was a pup and therefore her immune system never matured enough to recognize things that were attacking her skin. (Like the little bugs that we all have on us). We have been fearful of what the test results might say, but Dr. Moss just called and said he got the tests back from the lab and Annie’s immune system is just fine. They indicate in fact, that she is having one heck of an allergic reaction and has been for months now! What is she allergic to? Who knows? Could be food (either what she eats from her bowl, or what she eats from my plate), could be mold, dust, grass, anything. The good news is that we can do tests to determine what she is allergic to and probably fix it. I wonder if she can outgrow her allergies? I did. Anyways, she is happy and healthy and everything is going to be aaaa okay! Hope for Annie.
Posted by Texie at 9:18 AM
Friday, August 8, 2008
I guess I will explain myself and my last post. I cry for Mormonism because I think it is incredibly misunderstood. And I think these misunderstandings exist as much on the inside (by practicing people) as on the outside (by the non-practicing). I guess this last weekend I was thrown into a bit of a spiritual crisis when my very sweet, beautiful and extremely pious cousin sat down to have a talk with me. She currently has 3 boys and a year ago had the most darling little girl. Seriously if I could be guaranteed that I would give birth to a replica of this little girl I would do it in a second! She has red, curly hair, and fair skin, and the chubbiest little cheeks. I am pretty sure that I have never seen a child as beautiful as this one. I want to steal her. But that is beside the point. I asked my cousin if, now that she has had her little girl, if she is done having kids? And her smile dissipated from her face and then she shook her head. “Why” I asked, “Are you pregnant?” “No” she says “My husband wants to have more.” So I said “Well, if your done, your done. I mean you have given the man 4 kids.” And then she said “He wants more and before we got married we both agreed on lots and lots of kids”. So I say “So. Plans change.” And anyway the point of this dialog is that this fabulous girl is not able to make choices for herself. And I think its abusive, and I think it is wrong! She and her husband are extremely religious and I have heard him go off before on his “replenish the earth” speeches and apparently he won’t let it go. EVEN THOUGH HIS WIFE IS DONE!! I think it is disrespectful. And I think he does this simply because he is running a campaign for bishop. He wants to be the very best Mormon of all the Mormons that ever walked! It’s a big show you know? Nothing is really real with them. Everyone walks around with a forced smile and fake happy tone in their voice and I don’t even know my cousin anymore because she is so caught up in the role of “happy perfect Mormon”. I have seen the pressure that is put on the LDS to be perfect. But I do not believe that it is actually put on them by the church. These stereotypes are placed there by the actual people in the church, and it’s enough to cause Utah to have the highest suicide rate in the entire country! And so I cry for the church, because I think it is judged and misunderstood by non-Mormons. And I think it is equally misunderstood by its members, but in different ways. We are all human. God knows this and loves us without conditions. Regardless of whether we are married in the temple or have 50 million children. We are not our husband’s property either. We are each individuals that have choices to make and it makes me sad when my loved one feels so trapped and actually believes that its God’s will. Okay that’s it. Off my soap box. Besides, maybe I am wrong. Maybe God has expectations of us that some can’t live up to and if we don’t live up to them he will hate us and send us from his sight. (But I don’t think I am wrong.) I sure hope my cousin never reads this. I wanted to vent it but felt apprehension in posting something so controversial, especially when my whole family of LDS could read it at anytime. But you guys know me, I don’t let go of things. When I see something that I don’t think is right I stand up and declare it! I wouldn’t mind insight if you have some.
Posted by Texie at 7:57 AM
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Last Thursday Bridger and I went to Bear Lake for the annual Robinson Family Reunion. What a fun trip. We took Annie and all her luxuries so that she would be as comfortable there as she is at home (although she certainly was not). She slept on a pillow most of the way and the other half of the time she enjoyed a nice big Dingo Bone. We arrived at camp around 6:30pm and almost immediately started making dinner. Dad had arrived in the morning so camp was already set up.
When we got back to the beach Annie had been sitting for a long time in the middle of a pretty bad sand storm. She was exhausted and had sand all over her. Saddest was her big beautiful eyes were caked in sand. I immediately took her to the truck and got her out of the wind. I washed her eyes out and gave her some water because she was coughing and hacking. She went from having the best time of her life to being completely miserable. But then, isent that how a day at the beach always turns out? We went back to camp and after a good washing Annie went to bed and did not get up the rest of the night.
Gettin ready to go back to camp
Getting ready to leave
Anxiously waiting for Bridger to return with a shake
Annie was so excited to get home. She went right back to her same ol’ games. (biting Bridgers feet, expecting us to throw a toy at least once every 20 seconds). I could tell she felt a ton better just being back home where she is happiest. It was such a fun weekend. The three of us barely argued at all, (a rare miricle) probably because we were so busy playing. I got to talk to a lot of my super great cousins, who I adore. And play with all their cute babies.