Thursday, October 29, 2009

“I showed my heart to the doctor, he said I just have to quit, then he wrote himself a prescription and your name was mentioned in it.”
– Leonard Cohen

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Prayer is translation. A man translates himself into a child asking for all there is in a language he has barely mastered.
- Leonard Cohen

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

For Beth

The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world.
-Leonard Cohen

Monday, October 26, 2009

When in Idaho

On Saturday Beth, Isaac and I drove to Idaho for a lovely day at Nichole and Larry’s cabin. What a fun day. We went for a walk, rode on four wheelers, shot guns, and made Hobo dinners in a darling little grove at the bottom of a hill. Beth bought me a bottle of Idaho potato lotion and on the way back through ‘town’ I grabbed another. I super love Idaho potato lotion. If you want silky smooth skin, trust me, it’s the way to go. I don’t know if it actually performs miraculous moisturizing, but it does make your skin as smooth as you’d image carbohydrates are. So next time your in Idaho, give it a try, or else you can borrow a pump of mine!

"My interest in this pack of failures betrays my character."
— Leonard Cohen (Beautiful Losers)

Friday, October 23, 2009

Suprise!! You are Choking

Surprise is always followed by a secondary emotion.
“Surprise!!!” it’s your birthday, is followed by elation.
“Surprise” you’re mother is dead, is followed by devastation.
One time I choked on a piece of popcorn and it was powerfully surprising. The secondary emotion was subtle and unexciting I think it was slight appreciation. Appreciation that I had not died or perhaps escaped the need to make a public scene, as it happened in a theatre. I am glad that in my life I have felt Surprise-Appreciation….but I hope I don’t feel it again.

"I have often prayed for you.
Like this
"Let me have her""
-Leonard Cohen

Thursday, October 22, 2009

"My reputation as a ladies' man was a joke that caused me to laugh bitterly through the ten thousand nights I spent alone."
—Leonard Cohen

The wakeup

Up at 4:00am and as I stumble through the darkness of the bathroom, eyes still closed but trying hard to open, I step on my curling irons plug that just so happens to be extending out to the middle of the floor. There was screaming. I am not going to say it was "the worst thing" I am just going to say, it was pretty bad.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

"As our eyes grow accustomed to sight they armor themselves against wonder."
-Leonard Cohen

Mourning the Glitter

When I was young, I thought that movie and TV stars were the classiest, prettiest, most magical people alive. I am pretty sure they were not, but the point is they were able to make it ‘look’ like they were. I fear that something has happened to Hollywood in the last decade that makes the glamorous seem desperate and classless. Either it’s me losing my ability to see the magic, or all the Glamour that was Ginger Rogers and Audrey Hepburn is gone.
Now days we have cheap reality TV stars, Kramer who freaks out with racial insults during standup, Mel Gibson who has decided to become an angry anti-Semitic drunk, and Brad Pitt who seems to me to be obsessed with being with the prettiest girl in Hollywood, who ever that may be at the moment. The classless Kardashian’s, Jon and Kate’s horrible public divorce, and Paris’ ability to be famous for being famous are just sad examples of what I am talking about.
Then we have that small group of individuals who are trying to jump on the Reality TV celebrity bandwagon and what a group they are turning out to be! With the lovely OctoMom, and now the balloon boy incident I am wondering what Reality TV is doing to Hollywood’s image.
There are still some shiny stars out there; I think Beyonce handles herself well. Maria Cary is still sprinkled with glitter; we still have Nicole Kidman and Queen Latifah, Anne Hathaway and Will Smith. My point is something seems to be dying in Hollywood. Its losing its appeal and it’s a little sad. Is it technology? We still have all the TV media sources, plus now we are in constant contact with the sometimes trashy news sources that are on line. Also all these stars are suddenly on Facebook and Twitter, they are writing blogs and putting their ‘real’ selves out there. We think we want to know the real celebs but when we find out they are human and flawed just like us, it’s a little disappointing, at least it is for me. I want them to remain magical. Like the YouTube rap video about why Miley Cyrus is no longer on Twitter, is a perfect example of why Miley Cyrus should never be on Twitter or anything else that puts her in the public eye without a PR manager monitoring. Not that I thought a whole lot of her beforehand.
Maybe it’s just the caliber of person that ‘we’ want to watch these days. Maybe Hollywood didn’t lose its glitter; maybe it’s the public who have become tasteless.
I feel bad for talking like this. I know they are human beings. I don’t mean to imply that they should never mess up, I just think they should attempt to be more discrete about it. And I wonder how much of it has to do with an addiction to their own celebrity? While trying to get more attention, do they end up losing the sparkle that makes us love them in the first place?

Monday, October 19, 2009

Funny little baby

"Never make a decision when you need to pee."
- Leonard Cohen

Thursday, October 15, 2009

"I don't consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin."
-Leonard Cohen

Paranormal Activity

So I believe in ghosts and the possibility of the unexplainable. I have never experienced anything ‘strange’ or ghost like in my own life, but I still think that for some reason there are people that can’t or won’t move on after they die. So when Beth suggested that we go to Salt Lake to see the movie Paranormal Activity, I was onboard. It was a scary movie. Subtly scary. I didn’t know I was freaked out as bad as I was and I bragged all the way home that scary movies and ghost stories don’t upset me after I leave a theatre. Now I am eating my words. I woke up three times last night with freaky thoughts of someone standing over me as I slept. This may be the first time a scary movie has actually stayed with me through the night.
Happy October!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

"I am an old scholar, better-looking now than when I was young. That's what sitting on your ass does to your face".
-Leonard Cohen

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


A woman watches her body uneasily, as though it were an unreliable ally in the battle for love. -Leonard Cohen

So I purchased a treadmill off of KSL this weekend. I have only been at it for 3 days, but so far I am pretty happy with myself. I am preying it does not become one of those mysterious basement objects that never gets used. Nichole explained to me that its all about getting the heartbeat up to 60 bpm and keeping it there as long as I can. I gave it a try. I thought I was going to die. D.I.E. Proudly I did obtain and maintain a heart beat of 40 bpm for a half hour. Then I collapsed. This is going to take patience I am thinking. I will consider myself a success if I just continue to get on the thing for a half hour a day.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

A REAL problem

And I spoke too soon. Took my car to the mechanic for a simple oil leak and was just informed that it is not an oil leak at all, but a coolant leak and its gonna cost about $660.62 to fix. REAL problems here I come. Good mood....possibly fading.

Bad Day, Good Day

Having a series of bad days all in a row does something to ya. It makes you forget that good days are just around the corner. I have been having a bad day since last Thursday. No particular reason. I don’t actually have any problems in my life, not any REAL ones anyway, and so to stay comfortable, I randomly get unhappy and have strings of bad days. I am a 'Foofaraw'. If you frequently have problems in your life then you have no idea what I am talking about. Anyway, Today is a wonderful day and there is no reason for it to be but the air is lighter, and cleaner. My work people are all pleasant and I am just flat out feeling fond of them today (an extreme opposite from yesterday). I think there were just 3 or 4 good things that happened all in a row and bam, good day. Last night I helped a friend move, which moving of course, is like the worst thing ever, but she really needed the help and the exercise lightened my mood. Plus I was with my girlfriends and can I really ever have a ‘terrible’ time if I am in their company? No. Then my Dad came home from deer hunting. Just for the night but it helped me with my loneliness. And that’s pretty much it. I have been happy as a bird all day.

Word of the Day
Foofaraw: Excessive Decoration. Alot of fuss about nothing.

"Act the way you'd like to be and soon you'll be the way you act."
-Leonard Cohen

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Man Cold

Monday, October 5, 2009

Survival Kit

I quit smoking…again, 5 days ago. It’s just misery. I mean it’s not the end of the world, but it kind of is at the same time. This time, in an effort to lighten the misery load, I made a Quit Smoking Survival Kit. I thought somehow, that this fabulous and rather expensive kit would minimize the urge to smoke. I just HAVE to quit. Smoking, as much as I love it, is simply not part of my future plans. And I am so tired of feeling like crap because of it. Anyways, I thought I would share exactly what is in my survival kit as it is kind of cool…I think.

Bendy Straws – for chewing and sucking on.
Vanilla Sugar body butter - because non-smokers smell good
Cinnamon flavored toothpicks
Tylenol PM
Gum….ALOT of gum
Teeth whitening kit
Notebook for my thoughts -Smoking is like saying “Time out, I have to think about this for a minute” I really relate to Poo Bear when he sits on his log and says to himself “Think, Think, Think”.
Colgate Wisps - I wonder when my colleagues will start wondering why I am constantly sitting at my desk brushing my teeth.
Bag of Sunflower seeds
Carrots and Celery
Dental Floss -I think mostly because I love flossing.
Bert’s Bees chap stick
One vile of emergency instant death suicide serum -You wouldn’t believe how much they charged me for this. It was Insane.