Monday, December 15, 2008

The 32nd Year

Thirty Two in 5 days and counting. This number is alright by me. Not young enough to be fooled by just anyone, not old enough to….well, feel old. Every year when my Birthday rears its ugly head I am suddenly overcome with an overwhelming sense of thankfulness. I become sentimental “if you know what I mean” and everything seems to take on a new meaning in my life, a real meaning, meanings that are not filtered or lied to or challenged by the mundane or anxiousness that sometimes surrounds me. I am as always forever thankful and humbled by God for his gratuity, and aware that I do have the very best of what he can offer. Certainly with Friendship, the true experience of unconditional love from my Dad, and the loyal (and certainly undeserved) trust of a dog. These things are my most prized possessions. But when my Birthday comes round it is also the things I forget to be grateful for that seem to emanate from every facet and corner of my life. Like a glistening crystal with so many colorful sides that I can’t keep track of where all the colors are sprouting from. My eyes that see every detail in a snow flake. My ears (if I would just open them a little more instead of being so closed up), my hope, my dreams, my wishes, my accomplishments, my LIFE. Things that I can’t pick up, things that I will always have. These things that I tend to overlook. What grace have I? Not deserving of such treasure! I certainly did not earn these things. How many people drift through life without truly knowing what real friendship is? I know. Not because I have shown it, but because it has been shown to me. My girlfriends are the emeralds and diamonds and safire’s in my life. They add the color Pink to my world (even though I don’t think that one of them appreciates the color as they should).
My brothers. They may be half crazy but their mine. Lost in turbulence, and sad to their souls, I have to appreciate every single second because I don’t know which moment will be the last one. Their sorrow will continue, I can’t make it go away for them, and so with it my defenses and guard always up, but that doesn’t diminish the blessing that they are or the lessons that they have taught me.
All these blessings break into sections and divide and fill my life with warmth. I wish I was a better person, more deserving. But then that’s another miracle I owe a curtsy too.

4 comments:

Jylaire said...

Happy Birthday in 5 days! We really should go to the Old Spaghetti Factory to celebrate!

Cygnus said...

WOW. That was one of the best blog posts I've read in recent memory. You truly are thankful for what you have. You're not just paying lip service (or ... I guess type-service ...? You know what I mean!); you really know what you have to be thankful for, and you ARE thankful for it. That takes a super-neat person to recognize that.

Happy Birthday, Texie. You deserve the best day EVER. :)

Beth said...

Wow I wish birthdays did that for me. If I didn't know better I would think you were drunk. :)
(Have you decide what you would like to do on Saturday?)

The Cooper's said...

Happy Birthday Tex in 3 days!! I will never ever forget your birthday and thank you for sharing it with Camryn. I hope you have a fabulous day!