I dont even know what this is about

The worst thing ever is when you are having a spiritually 'challenged' time in your life for no dang reason at all!
The best thing ever is when someone says to you "This has nothing to do with spirituality" when referring to a very important goal of mine....because (and... sooo dont take this the wrong way) they are in so much worse shape than I. I dont mean this to sound judging because it is not. The person who said this to me... seems to be lacking a certain faith that I have found even in the greatest atheist or agnostic.

In fact I have a friend (a best friend) who dosent believe in God at all and she is such a beautiful caring person. I mean seriously no Christian would believe. I have another friend who considers herself a "Hopeful Agnostic" (adorable, that line makes me giggle a little everytime she says it) and she too is one of the most important, caring people in my life.

Its just a personal understanding about where you fit into the fabric of the universe. And honestly I used to know where I fit. I was a teeny tiny lint ball and now I seem to have fallen off my blanket.

Dispite that, I have a smile on my face because I have faith that I will find my blanket again. I just fell off it for a second... okay maybe a little longer than that.

I miss my girlfriends today. I hope you are having a good day. And I love you.

To admit how devestated I feel about this would be completely embarrasing. What an incredibly personal loss this is for me.

Okay, For Real?

I just got off the phone with a Canine Dermatologist. Yea…Canine dermatology! Not only is there a person out there that specializes in canine dermatology but there is a whole clinic and team of people who specialize in it. Of course you can’t get this kind of canine attention anywhere; you have to drive clear to Salt Lake to speak to these crazy canine skin enthusiasts.
Annie has allergies. She is allergic to pollens and grasses and molds and what have you. When you are a dog and have allergies, you don’t sneeze and scratch your eyes; instead your entire body breaks out in a rash and itches and drives you crazy. Actually I don’t know exactly what she is allergic to and that is why I found myself on the phone with the dermatology clinic. Annie will be tested. They will determine what she is allergic too exactly; create a special ‘Annie serum’ that I will inject into her body (yeah with a freakin needle) on a weekly basis. This is called hypoimmunotherapy yeah that is One word. I have to do this. Currently she is on medication for her allergies. This medicine costs (bare down) $100.00 a month. I’ve done the math and here you go: that is $1200.00 a year and if she lives her entire 17 expected years turns out to be about $20,000.00. OMG! Giving her shots will cost significantly less, after I have paid a huge bill for the testing, the shots will be about $30.00 a month….do-able.
I have had many people say “I would have put her down by now”. For real, that’s what they say. And to be honest I would have to, if I felt about her the way that they do. But I don’t…instead I adore her. Annie goes everywhere I go. With the exception of at work time, we are rarely apart. Two peas in a pod, Paris Hilton and that Richie chick (pre-break up). Annie is the sprinkles on my cupcake. Put her down and you can try me for murdering my BFF. Who goes around killing their best friends? Like no-one.
At what point do I have to face the fact that I have turned into one of those crazy dog people? I can see it now, me at 80 years old: short, a little fat (yes still), short white hair. I’ll be wearing one of those Christmas themed sweat shirts with a pair of stretch denim jeans (you know the kind with an elastic waist band), and I will have a poodle on my lap that I call precious and talk to like it’s a real human being. With the exception of being old, this scenario is already my reality. I do call her precious. I do talk to her like she is a real human being. I am ashamed. I am embarrassed. I am super lame. I am not putting her down.

To Brighten your day

The Mirror of Lies

I have a magic mirror and when you are standing in front of it, you sorta look a lot skinnier than you are. Yes I know, I know, you want it. But the truth is….I look in the mirror, as I did this morning and I see a thinner better looking version of myself and so I am feelin’ pretty hot right? I scram out the door without a second thought. I’ve been feeling pretty great about my outfit all morning because I look soooo good in it and then I accidently look in the bathroom mirror on my break. Dum Dum Duuummmmm. Total doom sets in as I wonder how on earth I ever allowed myself leave the house looking like this. Hugemongo. I mean my boobs which are huge anyways are now a uni-boob. And they look like they are touching my knees, my ass literally expanded by 4 inches, and this shirt, I swear to you now it will be burned by this afternoon! It’s not the first time that this has happened to me and I usually try to avoid all mirrors during the rest of the day so that I don’t run into this harsh reality check. But I messed up. I got careless. And now I am sinking into what is inevitable self consciousness. It feels pretty crap. It’s really sad because I am wearing my new and totally Fab burnt orange strappy sandals and just to be crazy and stylish threw in my new mustard yellow leather purse. Now they seem deflated like I’m just a fat girl with great accessories. Weight Watchers…..why aren’t you working faster for me? I am paying you great money and yet I don’t get advice or counseling when I come in with yet another week of your “looks like you didn’t lose anything this week" comments. Instead I get “Don’t worry about it, keep trying you’ll do better?” WHAT? Are they crazy? Don’t worry about it? I am working my ass off (not literally obviously) to lose some weight here and you don’t want me to worry about it? PA-LEASE!! I have been the exact same weight for 5 weeks in a row now. The only time I lost weight in that time period was a week ago when I lost 1 pound that I had gained the week before. I will tell you all something. I will prevail. I will win this battle. I will exercise longer and eat even less (although I may get to the lightheaded stage if I reduce more) it doesn’t matter I will achieve what I want. I will continue to walk through the fires of hell and starvation to reach my triumphant moment. If you are fat girl you should join me…FAT GIRLS UNITE!
P.S if you still want my cursed magic mirror you can get one at Wal-Mart for like $8.00, its full length, but I’ve warned you of the hazards.

Just a mention

There is nothing worse than biting into a bad carrot.

My Italian schedule

Sept 24th: Leave SLC utah
Sept 25th: Arrive in Venice
Sept 26th: Take tour of Venice Islands
Travel to Milan
Sept 27th: See Milan
Sept 28th: Travel to Pisa
Travel to Florence
Sept 29th: Take an authentic Italian cooking class
Sept 30th: Travel to Assisi and Rome
Oct 1st: See Rome
Oct 2nd: See Rome
Oct 3rd: See Rome
Oct 4th: Go to Pompeii and take a boat around the Island of Capri
Oct 5th: Relax in Rome
Oct 6th: Fly Home

Ohhhh, doesn't it just sound dreamy? I cant wait. I cant believe I have to wait for 4 months before this actually happens!