UDOT and the Public Involvement Person

If you frequent the area, then you have noticed that as you approach the top of 5600 in Roy, you quite unexpectedly, have your bones realigned and momentarily swallow your tongue. Once that is over and you have passed what some may consider a bump, others a valley, you (with a flood of emotion brought on through fear) suddenly begin to suffer from Tourettes Syndrome and scream out words you didn’t even know you knew. Each time (and this is my personal experience only) the long paragraph ends with “YOU EVIL U-DOT BASTARDS!!!”.
You see, UDOT recently decided they would repave the road at the top of 5600. And they did a good job, I might add. Except for one tiny little section where the old railroad tracks are laid. That is where something goes terribly wrong.
Angered and fearful that my back and my car may need a re-alignment, I called UDOT. My intensions were to say something along the lines of “YOU Grimy *********, *******,****and when I need a new alignment on my car you can bet your ***, that the Great State of Utah will be paying for it!! And another thing…*********, sons a *********!” Okay just kidding I was not quite so colorful and vibrant as that. After all Beth always says “You catch more bee’s with honey than” (oh I can’t remember the last word but it’s something offal like alcohol, or turpentine.)
So I call UDOT and say “I need to file a complaint” and the lady said (Imagine a monotone plugged nose voice) “Hold please I will transfer you to the Public Involvement Person”. The phone rings and this guy answers “Public Involvement how may I help you?” I say “Yeah I got a complaint and I want it filed and sent out in a bulletin across the sky because I am mad” (No I didn’t really say that but it would be funny if I did) But I did tell him all about the rattled bones, the swallowing of the tongue, the fear, and then the sudden Tourette’s that follows when you unknowingly cross the railroad track at the top of 5600. He says that it’s because they have pulled the tracks out of the road and are planning on replacing them. I said “well anyone can plan, planning is easy, I plan all day every day, that doesn’t mean anything gets accomplished, trust me, I Know about plans!”
Anyway, He told me that I should consider slowing down, when I said “I was going slow” he said “Then may I suggest that you speed up”. I said “Ohhhhh, Okaaaayyyy”. Defeated..... but Im hopeful that my mornings of tongue swallowing and TS are soon to end, I feel better that at least I made the effort to address the culprit of a two day epileptic anxiety attack.