Thursday, September 30, 2010

My New Favorite Thing

Sleeping in a new house for the first week was really nerve wracking but I expected it to get better with a little time. Instead I have spent the last four months planning escape routes for me and Annie in case the Boogie Man decided to make an appearance. To say that I have missed only a few hours of sleep while worrying about every single little noise I heard would be an understatement. I have also considered what would happen if there were a fire while we slept. Or what if the Boogie Man or a fire happened while I was at work and Annie were trapped in the house? And that my friends, is where my story begins, with worry and upset for four long months.
So, last week Annie wakes up in the middle of the night, and starts barking in her “OMG there is someone in our freakin house” voice and goes bellowing down the stairs and into our TV room. From a dead sleep I sat straight up, heart pounding, eyes wide, befuddled and disoriented. I had run through this scenario a million times in my head, I knew exactly what to do.
In complete panic I said out loud “OH MY GOD. OKAY, THIS IS IT, ITS HAPPENING” as I threw the covers off of me and jumped out of bed. I then grabbed my sweat pants and pulled them on, fumbled for my keys and cell phone on the night stand, turned on the lamp and slipped my feet into some flip flops. You may be thinking “Wow, all that, I would just get out of the house” but you should know that I had this so well planned that all these things took place in about a 5 second time span. I was awesomely fast, like a trained fire fighter getting into his fire truck and I am now pretty proud of myself. Anyways, I then go flying down the stairs (really I was running with super freak speed), and landed in the TV room where Annie was now sitting with total patience. I did not yet see the intruder but I knew he was there. I then said in my loud “I am totally not freaking kidding you better get your ass over here and mind me” voice, “ANNIE COME HERE”. Of course she didn’t because she’s Annie and to date has yet to come to me except when bribed with treats. Why would I think a serial killer in our house would make any difference to her? This was about the time that I realized Annie was totally calm and there was in fact no one in our house. I sat down on the stairs and stared at my dog who was now licking herself. And there I was, one o’clock in the morning, my sweat pants on backwards, sitting on my stairs with keys, cell phone, and the total quietness of my empty house. This was the low point. I had to make a change. Obviously I was not going to quit worrying about it and something had to be done. And so the decision was made, I needed to get an alarm system.
Yesterday my new alarm/fire system was installed. There are motion sensors and wires and smoke detectors. It’s a real dream. I was so excited that I was not going to get killed last night that I couldn’t sleep. I am in love. I love this thing so much that every time I arm and disarm it I giggle. And when I woke up at 3:00 am for a potty break, I purposely tripped the alarm, just so I could turn it off. It was loud and woke Annie up and she made her annoyed stop waking me up noise. Ahhh sweet revenge for not coming to me when I asked.