Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Sometimes I think that the only reason why I don’t tell my brothers to get out of my life is because I am so sick of people telling me that I should. Maybe it’s because I feel soooo alone in this battle that when I am told that I should tell them to leave me alone, I tell myself “No one in my life understands how this feels”. “They” don’t care about them, and so of course it’s super easy to say it with conviction from "their" perspective. I am tired of pretending that I am not a co-dependent. I am tired of lying when I tell the world that I don’t wipe their asses for them.

3 comments:

Jylaire said...

We really need to talk about this! I want to scream everyday (not at you, but at Gm and Gp Payne) and I feel like it's making me CRAZY! I can't even imagine what you're going through.

Beth said...

Hmmmm... Maybe Isaac won't get any siblings (this would be my attempt at humor for very serious subject as a way to let you know I love you)

Jilly B said...

I hate that you are going thru this. I told you how I am struggling and I struggled for years before Brenda's death. Sometimes we are dealt some real stinky things, I am sorry. I really do feel your pain. love you, auntie