Thursday, July 24, 2008

The beating of the Jones'

I don’t like crowds of people. Most know this about me. I don’t really like ‘gatherings’ or ‘groups’ or even ‘meetings’ because there are too many people. I think it’s because I am a highly sensitive person and it over stimulates me. But something most people don’t know about me is that I actually like people. Almost everyone. In fact, it takes someone special for me to dislike them. There is only one kind of personality out there that rubs me wrong. It’s the “ME man”. The guy or gal who is over concerned that you could possibly on some level be ‘better’ than they are and so they go to great lengths to prove how superior they are or more accurately how sub-human you are. It’s the person who is constantly trying to prove you wrong. They are listening intently to every word you say simply so they can correct any, and I many ANY, falsehoods. Now by ‘falsehood’ I mean things you think you know (and it’s not important anyway, like a song lyric) and you just so happen to be wrong or misinformed and it’s not important enough to have to “correct” you but these people tend to miss the point of what you are saying and go directly to the tiny example you were using to correct the wrongness of it. These are also individuals who suffer from ‘little mans syndrome’. Constantly trying to degrade you in order to elevate themselves. Always throwing out useless knowledge so that you will “think” they are smarter. These are the same people who find all their self esteem and worth wrapped up in “what they do”. If they can’t brag about their job and how great it is, and how important they are at their work, then they can’t feel good about themselves. These people also have a tendency to ‘dream’ of the day when they will be boss. They want for nothing more than to have the ‘boss statuses’ and to rule the roost. And when this type of person becomes a boss, you experience nothing but pure misery as they consistently assign you with degrading tasks simply because they can and it makes them feel superior and happy again. On occasion these types of people suffer a bit from the ‘beat the Jones’ syndrome as well. This is because they also base their self worth on how many possessions they have accrued. “Do they have more than their friends?” “Do they have more than the neighbors?”. They compare everything about themselves and their lives to everyone until they find something that you don’t got so that can feel okay about themselves again. When they realize that they have more than you do then they can relax and be themselves around you and they use the fact that they have more stuff than you to feel better. It’s not just possessions that they do this with either. They will use anything they can, whether be intelligence, their new built in swimming pool, or if they are a woman, their ‘better body’ or even they’re beautiful array of designer shoes. I realize now the reason why I dislike these people. The reason why is because I don’t like competition. I never have. I don’t like to compete. Now I know that there is such a thing as “healthy competition” but I even hate that. I don’t like competing with people. I think it’s because it always makes me feel bad. I rarely win a battle of the wits. I never have more possessions. I rarely have the most, of anything. And that’s okay. But when I start competing and comparing myself with others it makes me feel real bad about myself. And I am just wondering who out there really feels better when they start comparing themselves to others? And for those with the dislikable personalities, why do you have to prove that I am less smart than you to me? Can’t you just decide it in your mind and leave it at that. You make me feel like shit. You make everyone around you feel bad, and that’s why people don’t like you! Yes, there is a specific person that has rubbed me the wrong way today, and yes he just so happens to be this exact type of personality, and that is why I feel I must vent it here. Sometimes you get really tired of warding off all the people out there that are trying to tear you down and destroy your self esteem simply to gain a little for themselves.

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