Texie- On being a Brat

As I drove to an appointment yesterday to see yet another house, I thought about my sad, sad condition. All the things I wanted for myself that I have never gotten (because they were supposed to be served to me on a silver platter), about how my life really has not turned out the way I expected. It’s not bad, but I do not have everything I want either. And by the time I reached my destination, I was downright drowning in pity and despair for what I have become. I set these feelings aside as I met with the real estate agent that is selling the house and stepped inside. There was a nice woman standing in the kitchen and she immediately apologized about the condition of her messy house, which was indeed a disaster. As I walked the trail of her scattered belongings, I had the hell scared out of me a couple of times by little faces that would out of nowhere…appear. I think there were 4 or 5 kids I inadvertently ‘ran’ into. One smiled at me but the rest kept their heads down lost in their own thoughts. The house didn’t have that ‘Happy Home’ feel to it. I mistakenly (and small mindedly) blamed it on the clutter. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and so once I had quickly scoured the residence I thanked the lady for her time and stepped out of the house. The real-estate agent said “I am sorry it was such a mess in there. They are the renters and in talking with the woman I found out that she just recently lost her husband”. I replied “Oh that’s okay, I hope she lost him through a divorce” trying not to assume the worst. But the realtor said “No Brain Cancer”. BRAIN CANCER. She is my age, has tons of children, is about to lose her rented home and her husband just died from brain cancer? For real? This kind of total nightmare stuff actually happens?
This morning I woke to the news of Haiti and the devastation that has taken place there and feel shame for my ridiculous self pity. My life is great. I have the most wonderful father in the world, the most sincere friends that ever existed, a dog that showers me in unconditional love, a fantastic job, great colleagues, a home, food, my eyes and ears and limbs (even if my ass acts as a booster seat in the most uncomfortable situations) and I am so loved. It really is a shame that I am a spoiled rotten brat unaware of the reality of her life. Instead of being grateful that my friends are not being pulled out of collapsed buildings in a lifeless state, I wander around town wondering why material things have not been served to me.
I hope you all know (my many, many followers) that I love you so much, that my life is so rich and it is because of you. And if I take you for granted, (and I probably will again) I am so sorry because you are my biggest blessings.