The Mirror of Lies

I have a magic mirror and when you are standing in front of it, you sorta look a lot skinnier than you are. Yes I know, I know, you want it. But the truth is….I look in the mirror, as I did this morning and I see a thinner better looking version of myself and so I am feelin’ pretty hot right? I scram out the door without a second thought. I’ve been feeling pretty great about my outfit all morning because I look soooo good in it and then I accidently look in the bathroom mirror on my break. Dum Dum Duuummmmm. Total doom sets in as I wonder how on earth I ever allowed myself leave the house looking like this. Hugemongo. I mean my boobs which are huge anyways are now a uni-boob. And they look like they are touching my knees, my ass literally expanded by 4 inches, and this shirt, I swear to you now it will be burned by this afternoon! It’s not the first time that this has happened to me and I usually try to avoid all mirrors during the rest of the day so that I don’t run into this harsh reality check. But I messed up. I got careless. And now I am sinking into what is inevitable self consciousness. It feels pretty crap. It’s really sad because I am wearing my new and totally Fab burnt orange strappy sandals and just to be crazy and stylish threw in my new mustard yellow leather purse. Now they seem deflated like I’m just a fat girl with great accessories. Weight Watchers…..why aren’t you working faster for me? I am paying you great money and yet I don’t get advice or counseling when I come in with yet another week of your “looks like you didn’t lose anything this week" comments. Instead I get “Don’t worry about it, keep trying you’ll do better?” WHAT? Are they crazy? Don’t worry about it? I am working my ass off (not literally obviously) to lose some weight here and you don’t want me to worry about it? PA-LEASE!! I have been the exact same weight for 5 weeks in a row now. The only time I lost weight in that time period was a week ago when I lost 1 pound that I had gained the week before. I will tell you all something. I will prevail. I will win this battle. I will exercise longer and eat even less (although I may get to the lightheaded stage if I reduce more) it doesn’t matter I will achieve what I want. I will continue to walk through the fires of hell and starvation to reach my triumphant moment. If you are fat girl you should join me…FAT GIRLS UNITE!
P.S if you still want my cursed magic mirror you can get one at Wal-Mart for like $8.00, its full length, but I’ve warned you of the hazards.

Just a mention

There is nothing worse than biting into a bad carrot.

My Italian schedule

Sept 24th: Leave SLC utah
Sept 25th: Arrive in Venice
Sept 26th: Take tour of Venice Islands
Travel to Milan
Sept 27th: See Milan
Sept 28th: Travel to Pisa
Travel to Florence
Sept 29th: Take an authentic Italian cooking class
Sept 30th: Travel to Assisi and Rome
Oct 1st: See Rome
Oct 2nd: See Rome
Oct 3rd: See Rome
Oct 4th: Go to Pompeii and take a boat around the Island of Capri
Oct 5th: Relax in Rome
Oct 6th: Fly Home

Ohhhh, doesn't it just sound dreamy? I cant wait. I cant believe I have to wait for 4 months before this actually happens!

Vaccinations

So. I am going to Rome in a few months and was reading about all the vaccinations that a person needs in order to go. I have no idea what I have or have not had vaccinations for. How does one go about finding out this type of information? The Dr. who would have administered these shots to me (Dr. White) is long gone. Well, his office is anyway. I have no idea how to find out if I have been vaccinated or not. I certainly don’t want to go through all my vaccinations again as I do remember shots (of what sort I do not remember, obviously) from my childhood and I gotta say, not a pleasant experience. Does anyone know how I can obtain this information?

Sometimes I think that the only reason why I don’t tell my brothers to get out of my life is because I am so sick of people telling me that I should. Maybe it’s because I feel soooo alone in this battle that when I am told that I should tell them to leave me alone, I tell myself “No one in my life understands how this feels”. “They” don’t care about them, and so of course it’s super easy to say it with conviction from "their" perspective. I am tired of pretending that I am not a co-dependent. I am tired of lying when I tell the world that I don’t wipe their asses for them.

Nosy Parker

So I meddled in my boss’ life the other day and was told a secret that I didn’t need to hear nor did I want to hear. It was not work related. Anyway, I was embarrassed for meddling, especially when I was just trying to have some ‘light chit-chat’ and he was embarrassed because the secret is kind of huge and in older days would maybe be considered shameful.
So a minute ago I walk up to him while he is speaking with a few other colleagues, to tell him some stuff (that totally doesn’t matter to this story because it is work related) and he says “Well, I just told them the Big Secret”. I say “Oh you did, they know the Big Secret huh”, then he says “Oh no, not that big secret, the secret that we will not be having cake for Rich’s Birthday today. I haven’t told them the other secret”. So I say “That was the Big Secret right”, trying desperately to cover his ass. Which by now looks really strange to the others because why would the boss be telling me Big Secrets? And so he says to them “No the other Big Secret is that my son and his girlfriend will be having a baby and that we just found out they got married in July”. All the jaws drop and lots of conversation ensues (that he did not have time for because he was headed out the door for an important thing). And I am now sitting here wondering if this was my fault or not. Somehow I feel guilty either way. DANG IT, if only I hadn’t Meddled!

How do I get this goodness in me?

It's almost Easter and I dont want to sacrifice my precious sugar filled darlings! Yes, I could have one. But one is not enough.