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The 32nd Year

Thirty Two in 5 days and counting. This number is alright by me. Not young enough to be fooled by just anyone, not old enough to….well, feel old. Every year when my Birthday rears its ugly head I am suddenly overcome with an overwhelming sense of thankfulness. I become sentimental “if you know what I mean” and everything seems to take on a new meaning in my life, a real meaning, meanings that are not filtered or lied to or challenged by the mundane or anxiousness that sometimes surrounds me. I am as always forever thankful and humbled by God for his gratuity, and aware that I do have the very best of what he can offer. Certainly with Friendship, the true experience of unconditional love from my Dad, and the loyal (and certainly undeserved) trust of a dog. These things are my most prized possessions. But when my Birthday comes round it is also the things I forget to be grateful for that seem to emanate from every facet and corner of my life. Like a glistening crystal with so many colorful sides that I can’t keep track of where all the colors are sprouting from. My eyes that see every detail in a snow flake. My ears (if I would just open them a little more instead of being so closed up), my hope, my dreams, my wishes, my accomplishments, my LIFE. Things that I can’t pick up, things that I will always have. These things that I tend to overlook. What grace have I? Not deserving of such treasure! I certainly did not earn these things. How many people drift through life without truly knowing what real friendship is? I know. Not because I have shown it, but because it has been shown to me. My girlfriends are the emeralds and diamonds and safire’s in my life. They add the color Pink to my world (even though I don’t think that one of them appreciates the color as they should).
My brothers. They may be half crazy but their mine. Lost in turbulence, and sad to their souls, I have to appreciate every single second because I don’t know which moment will be the last one. Their sorrow will continue, I can’t make it go away for them, and so with it my defenses and guard always up, but that doesn’t diminish the blessing that they are or the lessons that they have taught me.
All these blessings break into sections and divide and fill my life with warmth. I wish I was a better person, more deserving. But then that’s another miracle I owe a curtsy too.

Game for a little Bush Wacking?

Some points and questions
1. Wouldn’t a Stiletto do more damage?
2. Do you think they returned his shoes to him after it was over, or…do you think they kept them as evidence? If they kept the shoes do you think they will be in a museum one day?
3. Okay where the hell were the lethally top trained security people that are supposed to be there before the bullet strikes? I mean, aren’t they supposed to catch the bullet in the chest and die for their president, go out in a flame of glory to always be remembered and respected? If they won’t even get up for a shoe...what chance do our presidents have?
4. I am actually impressed by his swift athletic ducks. You can’t learn that in college people, you have to be born with it.
5. How embarrassing. He should really consider not traveling for the remainder of his time in office. Wouldn’t a phone call suffice?

Unbelievable

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I have been trying to quit smoking, but when I read this email at work today, the first thing I wanted to do is go outside take a huge drag off a smoke and blow it in their faces. There is a discrimination that is taking place in this country and it is an outrage! This is my body, I will do what I want with it and it is not the business of my work, or my government and they should bud out! The only way this discrimination against smokers will ever be fair is when they outlaw chocolate (or threaten fat people with being fired for eating it) because chocolate makes you fat and causes heart disease just like cigarettes. Now how rational is that?

A Yummy Christmas Breakfast

The Christmas Ledge

The talk in the office this morning is of the super fun office Christmas party that took place last Saturday. Apparently there were prizes and gifts, drawings and karaoke. I didn’t go.
"Why?" You may be asking. Well it wasn’t because of my normal social anxieties that I did not show up to the yearly office festivities. My reason is actually kind of lame. I didn’t go because everyone at the party brings their spouses and significant others. As a single (the only single) what was I to do? Sit there and try to talk chit chat with co-workers as their spouses attempted to pull them away to hit the dance floor? No thanks. I mean the whole event is centered on doing things with your extra special person. Well what if my extra special person.... is me?
I find it interesting that the suicide rate increases so much at this time of year. I mean really, there are many things far worse than being alone. Or maybe it’s because I am not actually a lonely person that I am spared from leaping off the ledge of a tall building.
With that being said, there really is no truer time than Christmas to remind you that you are Bridget Jones, without the dates, office crush, or drunken single friends. On the upside being single at the Holidays means:
1. No matter what, I will be doing my things with my family and my friends no matter what. No schedule conflicts to deal with what-so-ever!
2. I don’t have to spend additional money on something extra special for my extra special person. Important during this economically challenged time!
3. I don’t have to fret about finding something fantastic to wear to his family outings. My family and friends don’t really care what I wear as long as I show up right?
4. I can spend my extra time with my adorable dog. (That may sound pathetic.. and it is, but I still enjoy it a lot.)
Okay so that is all I can think of, certainly there are additional reasons to be excited about my status during this time of year? Any suggestions? The internet can be more lonely a world than the real one because people don’t feel obligated to answer you. Even if they feel inclined to answer I don’t think they usually do. My point is, if you are alone at this time of year, then it is your own dang fault. Now don’t start walking over to the ledge. All is not lost, I mean do you even have a dog?

Leonard Cohen

I believe long after we are gone, the legend of the great Leonard Cohen will go on. He is a beautiful poet first and foremost and was finally inducted into the Rock -n- Roll Hall of Fame last summer. To make mention of what his poetry has done for me in my life, well...only someone like Leonard Cohen could find the words. For those that have never been touched by the dewy thoughts of Mr. Cohen just look away, for those that have...this was his induction. (Note to Beth: dont watch the video, just listen)