Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Being Long Tailed

Buying a house is such a pain that I have recently begun wondering if it is worth it. After all living with my father means never being alone, he is awesome at keeping the wood burning stove stuffed full of wood so that the house is always the warmest, loveliest place to come home to. He always mows the lawn and shovels the walks. I really have nothing to worry about at all. It’s nice. Sure I am an old lady living in her father’s basement, but I have never really cared much about what people think of me on that score.
The pressure of buying a house is making me a little nuts, a little nervous and anxious. Dad himself keeps saying “You act like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs”. But it is a big deal right? It’s my home, and my work, and my time (9 hours a day, 5 days a week) that we are talking about here. I don’t want to make a mistake and it's to the point that I would almost prefer staying right here in my happy bliss.
Of coarse Dad see’s things differently. In discussing my ‘at home comfort levels’ he replies with such things as “NOOOOO, GET OUT, GET OUT!!”, and other little subtle things like that.
So last night I thankfully was reminded of why he makes me crazy and why I do actually want my own home. Here is the list:
-Stays up all night watching that freaking fire in fear that it will go out and we will be cold. Seriously, stays awake until like 2:00 every morning, walking up and down the stairs (which happen to be located right over my head). I woke up last night from all his stomping around, only to realize that the TV was blasted while he watched a 1985 NASCAR race. I wish I could capitalize numbers because right here is where I would capitalize 85’. Who cares about a 1985 NASCAR race? WHO? That is the worst sound to wake up to because it’s all that buzzing, vroom, weeeeeeen, vroom as they make like 500 laps around and around.
-Then this morning I wanted toast for breakfast, but the toaster died (the one Owen gave us back in 1998(ish) and there will be no toast in this house until I replace the device because he will see it as an un-needed ‘cost’.
-I have asked him over 100 times if he could please ask his visiting teachers to come earlier in the evening. I don’t understand what is going on here. They show up at 8:00pm and talk until 9:00 or 10:00 O’clock. Are visiting teachers supposed to stay that long? So because I emanate a feeling of annoyance when they enter the house, I am pretty sure they have decided that I am not supportive of his belief system (so untrue) and so they fight harder to ‘keep him on their side’. (Mind you, I have no proof that this is going on, it’s a super big assumption on my part, but it feels real). Last week, they sent teachers to visit ME. They were very nice, but like seriously I have nothing in common with them. You may be thinking "Classic black sheep" but, for the record I see myself being more of a purple or green hue.
-He yells at Annie for the lamest things. She is such a good dog and her and I both look at him in confusion when he gets all riled up about something like a piece of paper towel ripped in two on the floor. (Which if I see first I always pick up).
Well, that is pretty much it. He is actually my best friend in the whole world so you would think I could pull up a little more dirt than those lame 4 examples. But they are all I have to hold onto. They are the silver branch of light I am using to fight against the overwhelming desire to give up on the house search.
Tonight my agent and I are going to see a house in Layton. He said there was ‘Just a little water damage’ in the basement. I wonder if his concept of a little is the same as mine? Like did a kid spill his sippy cup on the carpet and a few drops soaked in or did the entire basement fill with 6 feet of water during last winters thaw?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Texie- On being a Brat

As I drove to an appointment yesterday to see yet another house, I thought about my sad, sad condition. All the things I wanted for myself that I have never gotten (because they were supposed to be served to me on a silver platter), about how my life really has not turned out the way I expected. It’s not bad, but I do not have everything I want either. And by the time I reached my destination, I was downright drowning in pity and despair for what I have become. I set these feelings aside as I met with the real estate agent that is selling the house and stepped inside. There was a nice woman standing in the kitchen and she immediately apologized about the condition of her messy house, which was indeed a disaster. As I walked the trail of her scattered belongings, I had the hell scared out of me a couple of times by little faces that would out of nowhere…appear. I think there were 4 or 5 kids I inadvertently ‘ran’ into. One smiled at me but the rest kept their heads down lost in their own thoughts. The house didn’t have that ‘Happy Home’ feel to it. I mistakenly (and small mindedly) blamed it on the clutter. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and so once I had quickly scoured the residence I thanked the lady for her time and stepped out of the house. The real-estate agent said “I am sorry it was such a mess in there. They are the renters and in talking with the woman I found out that she just recently lost her husband”. I replied “Oh that’s okay, I hope she lost him through a divorce” trying not to assume the worst. But the realtor said “No Brain Cancer”. BRAIN CANCER. She is my age, has tons of children, is about to lose her rented home and her husband just died from brain cancer? For real? This kind of total nightmare stuff actually happens?
This morning I woke to the news of Haiti and the devastation that has taken place there and feel shame for my ridiculous self pity. My life is great. I have the most wonderful father in the world, the most sincere friends that ever existed, a dog that showers me in unconditional love, a fantastic job, great colleagues, a home, food, my eyes and ears and limbs (even if my ass acts as a booster seat in the most uncomfortable situations) and I am so loved. It really is a shame that I am a spoiled rotten brat unaware of the reality of her life. Instead of being grateful that my friends are not being pulled out of collapsed buildings in a lifeless state, I wander around town wondering why material things have not been served to me.
I hope you all know (my many, many followers) that I love you so much, that my life is so rich and it is because of you. And if I take you for granted, (and I probably will again) I am so sorry because you are my biggest blessings.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Annie's 3rd Birthday

A new Birthday coat and a ball that whistles, what more could one want?

Around noon we will be going to McDonalds for her 6 piece chicken McNugget Happy Meal and then I will take her to visit her favorite people. It may be strange to celebrate a dogs Birthday but really its a freakin miracle I have gotten her this far what with her physical problems and 'special needs'.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Ramblings and Updates

Due to overwhelming demand, I guess I should attempt a post. There does not seem like much to say these days, I guess that is why I have not. I am currently looking for a house to buy. It’s turning out to be kind of fun so far. I have written my list of “Must Have’s” which are:
- A back door
- Fully fenced
- Good roof
- Sprinkler system
- Shed (if no garage)
I would really like to have some covered parking, but after some investigative work I have determined that if the price is right for the house I buy, I can afford to put my own car port in. Same with a covered patio. It’s only like $1500.00 to 2000.00 bucks. It would defiantly take me a year to save for it but it could be done.
That’s pretty much it. I don’t want to spend time bitching about Jayson and how he is dying because I would rather be in denial and then shocked when it happens as opposed to facing it and being shocked when it happens.
Bret called and left a voice message on my work phone the other day. I puked but it was just a little in my mouth so not really worth mentioning. lol.
Annie is good. Just happy to be alive and have friends. I swear if I aspired to be like anyone it would be her. Always positive, always happy, accepts things the way they are, kind, makes friends easy and never gets mad. She would make an excellent human being, but then she makes an excellent dog too.
I actually had a really great Birthday, went to Rainbow Gardens with all my girlfriends, the most beautiful women on the planet, and then we shopped, went to a movie and even got ourselves a pedicure. So funny because at the end, the two girlfriends that were left at that point, both went on and on about how therapeutic the day had been for them. Beth, the new Mom of a crazy curious boy had a broken foot, well practically, and Ricki, the mother of two darling girls, one of which is now a tween (that’s what they call them now right?) felt like they had spent the day at the spa. It made me feel good that my Birthday could be a time of womanly regrouping instead of another ‘To Do’ on life’s endless list of to do’s. Ricki even called crying (at least I think she was) telling me Thank you for the great day. I have no stresses so it was just some good ol’ fun for me. Of course after going through the house buying process I reserve the right to retract that last statement.
Christmas was great, I spent time with my Pa, brother and niece. New Year’s festivities were held at Nichole’s house this year. We were all party party. Beth even brought her funky Happy New Year headband. And now I am back to work off of Holidays and it’s been a little hard to get back in the swing of things. Before Christmas I didn’t work this many hours of the day I swear. Now I am pretty sure I am putting in about 15 hour days even though the clock says something contrary to that. So that’s about it. I hope all you have a wonderful Christmas and I hope your New Year is full of hope and goals for the future!